Since I’ve Been Gone

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Here I sit.  In my newish apartment overlooking the Southern California desert where we now call home.  I have been wanting to write this post for months, but the right words have eluded me.  How do I explain all that has happened to our little family over the last two years.  All the struggle, the sorrow, the anger, the hopelessness, and yes even the occasional joy.  Those things are so difficult to talk about that I almost want to push those experiences to the deepest recesses of my mind and forget they ever happened.  But I can’t do that.  We learn the most important lessons during our greatest hardships and the lessons I have learned in the past year are ones I will hold the closest to my heart forevermore.

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One of those lessons has been to not let go of those things that make me who I am.  I am still a passionate cook and writer.  I still love to take photos.  I love to teach and share my knowledge with others who are as enthusiastic about my passions as I am.  I love intelligent conversation and the sharing of ideas and goals.  I love making new friends, in person and across the internet.  So, because I love all those things and since they are still an integral part of who I am I have returned to continue writing my blog.  To continue sharing all the wonderful foods I create.  The interesting things I discover.  The ideas I have to share.

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I can see from my blog’s stats that over the last year that my readership has actually increased, and in some cases almost doubled!  So many people still come visit my little corner of the internet even though I haven’t written in over a year!  That is so mind blowing to me.  That even though I wasn’t writing, people still valued what I had said before.  This realization was the final piece I needed to get back to blogging.  So here I am.  I’m back and ready to take on the world.

So, I know what you are thinking.  What the hell happened?

Well, I’m actually not going to get into it.  It’s so shockingly awful that I’ve been told several times to write a book about my experiences.  Maybe one day, but today will not be the day I start.  To make an epic story as short as possible, all I will say is that in one way or another I lost most of those I loved in the past 2 years.  My parents, siblings, husband, and several friends including my oldest and dearest friend.

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All is not so sad however.  In the last 6 months things have dramatically improved.  I scored a job, no actually a career, that I absolutely love.  I was even promoted this month!  I scored an apartment I love.  I solved a lifelong debilitating health issue by adjusting my diet (more on that in my next post).  I lost quite a bit of weight and finally feel healthy again.  My children are safe and happy.  My daughter is back to getting straight As and my son always has his adorably mischievous smile on his face.  I am no longer sliding further and further into debt.  Actually I am as close to being debt free as I have ever been!  I am immensely stronger on the inside than I have ever been before.  I know who I am, what I want, and what I do not want.  I am not afraid.  I’ve learned that my struggles have made me so strong and I’ve learned that sometimes its okay to tell people to fuck off.  I love the person I have rediscovered myself to be and I hope my readers do too.

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